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Our Unofficial Hate Page of the
Cleveland Browns.
Brought to you by McMillen & Wife!

Updated 1/17/00


"Hi, big fella..."
Q: Why is this Browns mascot winking at you?
.
A: Because he's queer.
A Message to Incoming Obnoxious Browns Fans (is there any other kind?)
A Brownies site called Browns: The Next Generation recently decided to take a rather high-profile shot at our Steelers site, and as the idiotic e-mail from sub-human Pumpkin fans began to trickle in, I realized the need for a preemptive strike. The personal attacks these Lake Erie sewage-ingesting morons seem compelled to send us are par for the course... but to set the record straight and avoid the deluge of worthless and misplaced jokes about us living in Pennsylvania (we don't), here are a few words...
The Pride of Cleveland?
Jim Brown Gets 6-Month Jail Sentence
Aren't 'ya glad Pittsburgh's biggest sports icon isn't a racist, wife-beating, classless piece of a human debris? Welcome to Cleveland.   :-)   Former Brown and Hall of "Shame" running back Jim Brown was sentenced to six months in jail on Wednesday for refusing to accept terms of his probation for vandalizing his wife's car. Brown likened his original sentence of 400 hours of community service to "getting on his knees and doing a little cotton-picking," and later accused the judge of belonging to "a radical and extremist group of white upper-class women who target men of color." Gee, this guy doesn't have racial bias or two of his own, does he? Naaaah... CLICK HERE to read the laughable details.

Browns Pick on 11-Year Old:
(Still Get Their Asses Kicked!)
Just when you think the Browns and their fans couldn't be any more classless and pathetic, they go & do something like this! This happened in a town not 20-minutes from where we live.
Brownies' Ode to the Steelers
A Trash-Talking Browns Fan Had to PAY UP on a Bet We Had for the Week 1 Game vs. Cleveland
Submitted by hapless Browns fan (but a good sport),
Bruce Hicks.

Steelers Smash Pumpkins!
Steelers 43, Brownies 0
Sept. 12, 1999 1 2 3 4 Final
STEELERS 7 13 6 17 43
BROWNS 0 0 0 0 0

Some Hillarious Stats
Total Yards: Steelers 460, Browns 40
First Downs: Steelers 32, Browns 2
Passing Yards: Steelers 247, Browns 31
Rushing Yards: Steelers 213, Browns 9
3rd Down Efficiency: Steelers 70%, Browns 0%
Time of Possession: Steelers 47:49, Browns 12:11

CLICK HERE for Game Recap & Stats.
Can You Say "THEY SUCK?"
Never in my life have I fallen asleep during a Steelers game... until tonight. My wife kept nudging me awake in the 4th quarter, laughing her ass off. Sandy is convinced that she could crack Cleveland's starting lineup simply by showing up at practice on Tuesday... I think she's right. So much for Cleveland's self-proclaimed "best defensive line in the division," eh? Sandy pried my eyes open midway through the 4th quarter to point out that Pittsburgh had a 207-10 edge in rushing yardage... which poses a question: Was that the Cleveland Browns or Cleveland Community College out there tonight?

Sept 12, 1999: Of course, the funniest part of this is all of the SMAK Browns fans were talking leading up to the game... just another example of the total disconnect from reality Browns fans experience (necessitated by years of mediocrity).
Steelers Lopsided 43-0 Win Over Hapless Browns Sets Lots 'O Records
A slew of team and league records were set during Pittsburgh's manhandling of the expansion Browns, from time of possession to first downs to yardage and more. For a REALLY good laugh, read the article below.

Browns Fan Talks Smak Before 43-0 Ass-Whipping!
It... is... ALIVE! That's right, folks, the Brownies are back and their fans are as whacked as ever. Let me say I respect this guy as far as Cleveland fans go... he's part of an excellent Browns website. But as far as reality goes, even Mr. Rork (that's the guy from Fantasy Island for you young'uns) couldn't make this guy's predictions a reality. I dunno, maybe Tatoo could help out their front seven, who he claims are "already being considered one of the best (if not THE best) in the division". In any case, here's an excerpt of his message:

"The Browns will only cover one of your receivers since the likelihood of Kordell FINDING the other is about 10% per play. The other 90% of the time you'll be able to watch your QB run around hopelessly looking for free green to run to only to find an orange helmet planted deeply into his chest cavity."


It's good to have our whipping boys back, don't 'ya think? CLICK HERE for his entire message as well as my response (which in hindsight was probably way too polite).
Game Analysis
and Fan Smak

To view fan comments, click on pregame or postgame buttons at the right, then send us YOUR thoughts on the game.
Click Here for
Pre-Game
Week 1 vs Browns!
Click Here for
Post-Game
Week 1 vs Browns!
The above pre and postgame comments are from the 43-0 drubbing of the Brownies by the Steelers on Sept. 12, 1999. Interesting how all of the Browns fans talking smak before the game mysteriously disappeared after the Dawgs got their sorry butts pounded, eh?

Game Analysis
and Fan Smak

To view fan comments, click on pregame or postgame buttons at the right, then send us YOUR thoughts on the game.
Click Here for
Pre-Game
Wk 10 vs Browns!
Click Here for
Post-Game
Wk 10 vs Browns!
Send your comments, predictions, smak, & insults about our upcoming game vs. the Brownies as well as your postgame critiques after we kill 'em. Whether your message is a simple, "These guys SUCK," or a detailed in-depth analysis, send us your comments!

Click on pic for larger image

E-mail Mike Terry (pictured)
Exorcism for Browns Fans
One of the FUNNIEST (not to mention frightening) submissions we've ever received!
Submitted by Fleetwood & Julio

Smashing Pumpkins!
A big-time thanks to Tommy Coleman for sending us this great pic! Click the pic to enlarge, & be sure to check out the players on the sidelines.
Hatred: A Perfect Word for This Rivalry
Bigger and better, season after season, decade after decade... and now, it's finally back! CLICK HERE for a great look back at some of the rivalry's most memorable moments.
Steelers Flashback
'79 Steelers vs. Browns (33-30 OT)
1979 1 2 3 4 OT Final
STEELERS 3 10 0 17 3 33
BROWNS 10 10 7 3 0 30

Few games from my childhood stand out as vividly as the '79 overtime victory over the Browns. Franco shined in what was arguably the most exciting game in the history of the rivalry, as the Steelers crammed 17 points into the 4th quarter to send the game into OT, then finished the Browns off on a Bahr FG with just 9 seconds left in the extra period. CLICK HERE for a great article on the game, as well as my personal recollections.


CLICK HERE for the ever-popular warm & wet welcome back from Calvin.
Submitted by Don "Muddy Water" Rossbach


Browns Fans Same Old Morons
Submitted by RealPittsburgh.com
Ode to the Brownies
Submitted by Harvey Barfarkle, D.O.
Brownies Top 10 List
Submitted by Dan Krueger
The 'Burgh vs. the Mistake by the Lake
Submitted by Dan Krueger



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Page created by McMillen and Wife, copyright 1999.