Tom Hayes
THIS photo is proof that if you pour enough good wine into a monkey, you
have to SIT him next to a beautiful woman - my very tolerant wife Sue -
because you sure can't stand him anywhere. I guess I mean that both ways. I
was born and aged (but never grew up) in Beaver Falls PA, which is about 30
miles from the heart of Pittsburgh and is the home of Joe Namath, Donnie
Iris and ME (but not necessarily in that order). The Steelers won their
first Superbowl when I was 12, so who else was I going to follow? My
football credentials include the fact that, as a youngster, I actually made
a kickoff coverage tackle in a Mighty-Mite football game. Yes, it really
happened. An independent thinker or, as some would call it, "uncoachable", I
got out of football and "got on with my life's work" earlier than most.
Eventually, I matriculated at Penn State where, after grinding away longer
than typically allotted, I earned an engineering degree while mostly
ignoring the football team. After graduating, I moved to southern Maryland
(Redskins, Ravens, yada, yada, yada) where I met my aforementioned better
half, whose answer to growing up in Ohio was to simply not be a football fan
at all. Can you really blame her? At her college (Ohio University - NOT Ohio
State), EVERYBODY ignores the football team but they go to the games anyway
- to watch the band. Really. Anyway, we're DINKs so, while we're both workaholics, we don't regularly
chase toddlers. Thus, I occasionally find
the time to plagiarize other sources or, in a pinch, completely fabricate
stuff and submit it to Tim. Yoi!
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