Updated 4/14/99

This page was created with the sole purpose of degrading
America's ''Most Wanted'' team... none other than the pathetic

DISCLAIMER: This page apllies only to the current "Jerry Jones Owned" version of the Cowboys. I have nothing but respect for the "Tom Landry, Roger Staubach" Cowboys of my childhood. Hard to believe 'da 'Boys were once a class organization, isn't it?

Can you pick out
Jerry Jones?
I watched the movie "Jerry
McGuire" the other day and
it got me to wondering...
How Much is Michael Irvin REALLY Worth?

What was the HOTTEST
Christmas Item in Dallas in '97?

Gee, I dunno . . . It could've been a lot of things. A Deion Sanders Nativity Scene? Nah . . . I'm sure he'll be a Muslim soon . A DE-flatable Emmit Smith Doll? Nah . . . even now his ego is still too inflated to fit on Santa's sleigh. Perhaps a Jerry Jones Piggy Bank? Nah . . . he'd have 'em all smashed open in search of loose change before they even hit the shelves. How 'bout a Michael Irvin Sugar Canister? Well, this actually has some promise . . . after all, you know you'd get SOME kind of white powder out of it . . . but no, that's not it either. To see what all the kids went wild for last holiday season in Big-D . . .


I Love This Cartoon!
The guy on the right absolutely kills me!
Kinda looks like Switzer, eh? Heh heh . . .

The decline in Dallas has not been limited
to their players and coaches. Just take
a look at what it's done to their
(Click Here)


Q: Why did Emmitt Smith have trouble getting in his front door?

A: Someone painted an end zone on his door mat!

Q. What do you say to get 47 Cowboy players to all stand at once?

A. "Will the defendant please rise?"

Q: If Michael Irvin, Leon Lett, and Erik Williams are riding in a car, who's driving?

A: The cop.

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?

A: A huddle.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get in the Dallas huddle anymore?

A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

Q: Who is the new Cowboy defensive coordinator?

A: Johhny Cochran.

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Surfer Contributions
The following gems were contributed by folks who surfed by my site and decided to throw in their two cents. Thanks, dudes! (Clearly, 'ole dingle-Barry doesn't get the punch lines).

Q: Why can't Dallas Cowboy players find the Cowboys web site on the Internet?

A: They haven't been able to get three ''W's'' in a row all season!

Thanks to Keith Overton!

The Dallas Cowboys will go 13-3 this year...

13 arrests and 3 convictions.

Thanks to Jeffrey Pleasants!

Q: Have you heard that the Cowboys are now playing on a dirt field?

A: Yeah, they smoked all the grass and snorted all the lines.

Thanks to Don Rossbach!

Have something humorous I could add to this page?
Drop me a line!

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